Nectar of Instruction, Verse 4
dadāti pratigṛhṇāti
guhyam ākhyāti pṛcchati
bhuṅkte bhojayate caiva
ṣaḍ-vidhaṁ prīti-lakṣaṇam
"Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing one's mind in confidence, inquiring confidentially, accepting prasada and offering prasada are the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another."
Six Symptoms of Love and Respect
1. Dadāti
Giving gifts to devotees
2. Pratigṛhṇāti
Accepting whatever is offered by another devotee
3. Guhyam ākhyāti
Revealing one's mind to devotees
4. Pṛcchati
Inquiring about confidential matters
5. Bhuṅkte
Honoring prasada offered by devotees
6. Bhojayate
Feeding devotees with prasada
Commentary
In this verse, Śrila Rūpa Gosvāmi explains how devotional service manifests in relationships between devotees. An experienced devotee shares his experience, while a neophyte listens and learns from him. This is how the words "guhyam ākhyāti pṛcchati" can be explained.
When a devotee distributes prasāda (remnants of food offered to the Supreme Personality of Godhead), we should treat prasāda as the Lord's mercy given through the hands of a pure devotee. Furthermore, we should invite pure devotees to our home, offer them prasāda, and be serviceable and kind.
Important to Understand
These six rules apply even in ordinary human relationships; they testify to our friendliness and love for a person. For example, a businessman, wishing to establish a friendly relationship, invites a partner to lunch, explains his plans, asks for an opinion, and exchanges gifts.
However, true selfless love has its own name – prīti. The Krishna consciousness movement is precisely the organization in which a person can realize his desire to have close relationships with other devotees.
Chaitanya-charitamrita, Madhya 22.54
'sādhu-saṅga', 'sādhu-saṅga'—sarva-śāstre kaya
lava-mātra sādhu-saṅge sarva-siddhi haya
"The verdict of all revealed scriptures is that by even a moment's association with a pure devotee, one can attain all success."
Dadāti: Principle of Charity
According to the dadāti principle, an advanced devotee should spend at least half of his income on the service of the Lord and His devotees.
Example of Śrila Rūpa Gosvāmi:
When he decided to retire, he gave 50% of his accumulated wealth to Krishna's service, gave 25% to relatives, and kept the remaining 25% for himself for unforeseen expenses. All devotees should follow this example.
Example of Kholavecha Shridhara:
He was a close follower of Lord Chaitanya, who used half of his meager income to worship the Ganges. Following this tradition, gṛhastha devotees should try to donate to Krishna and devotees as much as possible.
Warning Regarding Association
Śrila Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvati Thākura warns not to speak with impersonalists (māyavādis) and atheists. No matter how much you feed a serpent with milk and bananas, it only becomes more venomous (kevalaṁ viṣa-vardhanam).
Such openness promises nothing good. It is best to avoid associating with them and not to ask about what is most dear, because they can destroy spiritual life. Also, one cannot accept food or gifts from them.
Practical Advice
7 Ways to Improve Relationships
- Try to understand the other, and then be understood yourself
- Keep promises
- Show kindness, sensitivity, attention to details
- Clarify expectations
- Be loyal to those who are not present
- Apologize if we cause problems for someone
- Be open and ready to listen to opinions about yourself
7 Ways to Ruin Relationships
- Try to make yourself understood first
- Break promises
- Be rude and unkind
- Fail to fulfill expectations
- Hypocrisy, disloyalty
- React to mistakes with arrogance, deceit
- Intolerance of unfavorable feedback about yourself
5 Ways to Show Your Love
- Listen attentively
- Share precious thoughts
- Appreciate properly
- Help to become established in Krishna consciousness
- Sacrifice for others
If We Truly Want to Help Others
- Become an example for those we want to correct
- Become a friend and guardian of the devotee, truly care for him
- When trust arises, the desire to learn arises
- Having learned, others begin to practice and teach others
Self-Check Questions
- List by memory the 6 types of loving exchanges between devotees and explain them.
- Why is it necessary to associate with devotees? What does it give to a devotee?